When I was diagnosed last January, our family was only a few weeks away from a big trip.  We were planning to take Abby (5 at the time) and Kai (who was nursing) to visit Gabe’s aunties, uncles, and cousins who live in Hong Kong.  Gabe’s mom and my parents would all be meeting us in Hong Kong, and one of our nieces Ashley would be traveling with us.  The trip had been planned for almost a year, and all of us were really, really looking forward to it.

One little girl was by far the most excited!  Not only had Abby made a calendar to check off the days until the trip (see picture below for an example), but Hong Kong was all she talked about.  Every night when we tucked her in, she had a new question about the trip.  She was packing and unpacking herself daily, and would drag her suitcase around our home pretending it was the day we were leaving.

We planned a fun morning to our local kids museum one weekend.  And as we were at breakfast, I told Abby and Will that “the doctors found a sickness in Mommy’s body.  There’s very good medicine for it, but we have to stay in Raleigh and not go to Hong Kong so Mommy can get the special medicine.”  I knew this would be one of the bigger disappointments of her little life, and was so heart-broken to tell her the news.  Her response was surprising, and hurt my heart even more.  Instead of the tears I expected, she smiled really widely, blinked back tears, and said “I’m ok, Mommy.  I’m not sad.  I’m ok.”  It was as though I was watching her stuff all her disappointment deep down inside her heart.  She was not sure what to do with it.

The tears came later, the sadness, even the anger.   It was hard for both of us.

At one point, I remember telling her, “Abby, when Mommy is all done with treatment, we are going to take you on a special trip to celebrate.  Just you!  Where would you want to go?  We could go visit Auntie Anita and Uncle Allen in Chicago, Auntie Jill and Uncle Brett and the cousins in Colorado Springs…”

With no hesitation at all, she said, “Disneylord!”

Of course.  Disney.  Spoken like a true 5 year old.

We made no promises to take her to Disney, but when I heard that a good friend of ours was getting married in Orlando, I saw it as an opportunity to keep my promise to take her on a celebratory trip.  We booked the tickets, and began to look forward to it.

As January approached, I naturally began to think about being diagnosed a year ago.  Of course, I knew that I had the mammogram on a Monday and was diagnosed on a Friday.  Those and many other details are burned into my memory, and I believe always will be.  At some point, I checked a calendar to see what date it was – and was both stunned and delighted by God’s precious heart for us.  We would be at Disney celebrating in 2019 on the exact week that was the darkest of my life in 2018.

Memories continued to flood me as the milestones approached.  How sweet to be making such fun new memories to overlay those dark days from last year.  Exactly a year after that mammogram that shocked me to my core, I was driving the boys to meet Uncle Greg, and finishing up our last minute packing for Disney.  The next three days were a complete contrast as well: the endless waiting, bitter disappointment, wrestling, and tears from 2018 were traded for the joy of treating our little princess to Disney in 2019.

There were many magical memories, but I’ll share only two.  The first was before the trip even started!

Abby was over-the-top excited the morning of our trip.  The boys were already in Charlotte enjoying their cousins, and it was only Abby, Gabe, and I in the house getting ready to go.  We’ve got our system down before leaving town.  Gabe carries all the bags down and puts them by the door, before he heads back upstairs to do his pre-travel check-list.  I was in the kitchen making sandwiches to eat on the plane.  I heard Abby talking to herself as she finished her “packing” in the hallway.  She finished, and brought her bag of crafts and toys into the kitchen.

“Can I put my bag in the car, Mommy?”

“Sure, Sweetie.  I’m sure that’ll be a big help to Daddy.  Here, let me raise the garage door.”

I went back to packing snacks and lunches, and by the time I tuned back into what she was doing, she had the whole car packed!  I guess we weren’t moving quickly enough for her.  I still not sure how she muscled all those heavy bags into the trunk!

The second day at Disney, we went to Hollywood Studios.  She had watched videos of the new roller coaster “Slinky Dog Dash” and couldn’t wait to ride it.  We got there for the rope drop, and ran straight for the ride since it always has such a long line.  Of course, we assumed it would be the only time that day we’d get to ride it.  As we were waiting in line, Gabe checked our FastPasses on the Disney app, and noticed one for…Slinky Dog Dash at 11:00!  What??!  It’s impossible to get FastPasses for the new rides.  He grabbed them, and we were thrilled we’d get to ride it a second time.

After a full day in the park, we had ridden everything we wanted to, and told Abby we had time for just one more ride.  Of course, she picked Slinky Dog Dash!  So, back in line we went for another 90 minutes.  We were all excited to end on such a great ride, and enjoyed talking about the two days we’d spent at Disney while waiting.  We arrived at the front of the line around 7:55, 5 minutes before the park closed at 8:00pm.  It was a completely different experience to ride it in the dark, and we all had a ball!  As we got off, she started asking to ride it “just one more time!”  I glanced at my phone, and showed her it was exactly 8:00pm.  The park’s closing time.

We passed the entrance to Slinky Dog Dash where a Disney cast member was standing.  On a whim, and already knowing what the answer would be, I called out:

“The line is already closed, ma’am?”

“No, you’re still fine.  You can get in line.”

Abby yelled a “YES!!” and zipped into the line as Gabe and I started laughing.  Four times on Slinky Dog Dash?  And we got in right before the line closed…maybe five or six people before the end.  We laughed the whole time we waited about what a gift it was that we got to ride Abby’s favorite ride four times!  And the final ride was the most magical yet.  As we pulled out of the station, an outdoor show began its grand finale complete with fireworks.  The whole time we rode, fireworks and laughter intermingled and stood in such stark contrast to the dark days of 2018.  Pure joy.  Celebration at its best.  Thank you for the precious way you love us, Almighty God.